Co-Regulation Explained: The Most Important Skill No One Taught You
6 min read
Self-regulation grows from co-regulation. Skip the first, and the second never lands.
Borrowed nervous systems
Children regulate by borrowing your calm. Until somewhere between 10 and 25 years old, your nervous system is a critical part of theirs.
How to co-regulate in real time
- Slow your breathing first
- Drop your voice and shoulders
- Get lower than them, not taller
- Reduce words by 80%
- Stay until the storm passes